Yesterday I found myself thinking about the diference it makes when you talk patiently with a toddler rather than yelling at him/her.
My 3 year old son is very sensitive to the way adults talk to him. Whenever someone call him down strongly, he gets really sad, once he is always trying to get things done correctly. On the other hand, when he accomplishes something new, he expect the adults to say how clever he is.
However, by the end of the day, he’s still a toddler. And, as Dr Peter Karp says, toddlers are like cave man. They are like cave man in the sense they all have moments when they just want something, just like that, just like now! And, of course, that would somehow turn into those tantrums… How would cave man react if you yell at them during these moments? They would yell you back, of course. On the other hand, if you relax and talk to them in a way they feel you understand their frustrations, you’ll probably be more successful.
Sometimes it is really necessary to breath deeply before dealing with toddlers actions. Explaining them the relation between action and consequence, the diference between right and wrong, the good and bad… Oh, I believe it is really, really hard to manage. No baby is born with an instruction’s book, and no parent is perfect.
In my opinion, by then end of the day, you should always folow your instinct, no matter what. Always explain everything to your kids and, most important of all, show them how strongly you love them!